two cents

when i was perhaps four, my mum found a strand of white hair on my head. i tried to rationalize it and said, "its because i think too much."

during my formative years in sc dance, i remember mrs chan said to me, there's nothing wrong with being a perfectionist. her statement implied to me that being perfectionistic has negative connotations and i thought, why would there be something wrong with wanting to be good at whatever you do?

i find myself being very cautious of what impressions people have of me. no doubt it's important to be confident of yourself and to not let comments by others affect you, but i feel, no man is an island and alot of who you are is made up of how others perceive you.

if you live by your own set of rules, and if those rules aren't aligned with that of society's, then your rules don't apply. for example, if you think dressing skimpy is a non-issue because it is your own body you are exposing and you have the right to wear what you wish, but society feels you are imposing on others, should you continue to do as you will? however, if all of society indulges in thievery and prostitution, does that make such "ills" acceptable?

i fear that the people around me smile at me and throw daggers behind my back. i fear that people speak ill of me when im not around and say sweet nothings to my face. i'd rather people be direct with me and honest to me about my faults, because to me it shows that they care enough to let me know my weaknesses.

i think being perfectionistic can be debilitating.

*

im not quite sure where i meant for this to go. i thought i had a point to make. my mind is somewhat of a tangled mess, but i'd better not try too hard to sort it out, less i find more than a strand of white hair.

ding dong bell

[blogger's been acting up on me and won't let me upload photos with their thingamajig, and i can't seem to resize pics on photobucket so don't mind them giant sized and cropped out]

so much for being disciplined all last month. ive busted too much of this month's pay cheque already, and it's only been a week =( but the nonsense that i bought makes me happy =DDDD

and presenting to you....




my bus earrings!




and my steals from yesterday's trip to chinatown...

pig ring and rose ring

a fine line

if anorexia involves a distortion of your body image which leads you to think that you are fat when you're actually stick thin, is there a disorder where by you think you're thin when you're actually fat?

busybusybeeeee

been meaning to post all last week but blogger has been very uncooperative and isn't allowing me to upload photos.

just after i said my social life was severely lacking, i had a bumper crop week of social activities, making me one very happy girl!

florence came over on thursday and we baked cinnamon oatmeal raisin cookies and carrot cake. we brought them to work on friday and received pretty good feedback from everyone, although im not sure how much of it was them being polite and kind.

on friday, the girls-whose-boyfriends-were-unavailable-for-various-reasons hung out together. we made up for the lack of boys by going to geylang (????) -- just kidding. i insisted we be "adventurous" and go somewhere "inaccessible" because peimin had the car. us three small girls (2 small in length, 1 small in width) devoured a chilli crab, a giant plate of horfun, dou miao and a D24 durian. awesomeness =)

had dinner with the cell group on saturday. i paid 4.50 for korean maggi mee. no matter how hard i tried to pretend i wasn't eating instant noodles, it looked and tasted exactly like it. and so i was kind of very sour about it. plus i had some kimchi too. after dinner, we ventured to selegie for the supposedly famous (although ive never heard of it myself) tau huay.

took a break on sunday because all this socializing was making me so tired! haha.

i conned meiyan and florence into going shopping with me after work on monday. after all, it was pay day and i was in a rare spend-money mood. the harvest included a tent dress, BUS earrings which are absolutely HILARIOUS, and almost almost a brown vintage leather doctor-bag. i was disappointed i didn't get to buy the bag, but satisfied with the rest of my purchases.

today, florence and i gymed and then put on back the calories at genki sushi. we might have lost it again with all that talking. and tomorrow, i am meeting dear liying whom i havent seen since first semester at UVA for dinner.

woohooo i am miss popular girl! haha!

the funky chinaman

musings

i took a day's mc yesterday. i wonder if my boss sees it as a sign of weakness or incompetence. i wonder if what she thinks of me is important. i guess it is. but i wonder why another human being's opinion of you should matter so much.

it was a good, much needed recuperation session. i slept for the most part, starting saturday night. had maybe forty hours of sleep in two-half days. something ridiculous like that. and in the few hours that i actually managed to stay awake, i made black bottomed cupcakes, and plain chocolate ones. both of which weren't very successful. even after distributing some in the office, i still have tons of them sitting on the table with no idea what to do with them.

besides that, nothing much has been going on in my life. my time seems to be spent 50% on work, 40% on sleep, 10% on social time. which is quite very sad. my salsa class has ended. someones keeps trying to ask me out, and i didnt know how to say no too many times so i just didnt respond, which is rather rude and awkward. im thinking of taking up a violin class or something something. aanddd, the best part of my lack of a social life, is, that im booked to go to the US of A (the ATL no less) from the 22nd to the 8th. wheeeheeee.