crossword

when the other end of the carrot is a stick, what are you to do?

and what do you do when you make mistakes that are irrevocable and damaging?

would you choose to see a beautiful fantasy, or the ugly reality?

reality tv

i forget all the time that in this world, the people are not friends but competitors and judges. they aren't in your team, they don't race alongside you. and for everything you do, you are measured. even as a person. you can't show emotion, frustration, vulnerability, or it will be deemed as incompetence.

fingerprints

i finally got around to uploading my europe photos on facebook yesterday. as i reminisced on my amazing three weeks eurotripping, i felt like life the way it is now isn't life at all. and today, i had a conversation with kenneth about what we hope to achieve when we turn 60 and my conclusion was that, at the end of the day, your material and career achievements don't count for anything. its your personal relationships that you will be remembered for. and yet, during the journey, money and power and status will matter.

i miss the beauty, the freedom, and the simplicity in the world i used to see.

double O

today, my lianrong bao rolled onto the floor, and a chocolate donut landed on my table.

magic happens =)



*



today, i met with my director and while using my laptop to discuss some work with her, 3 people came online on msn. ding. ding. ding.

playthings

i saw him again today after so long. it was a brief passing but it didn't fail to put a smile on my face. sweet memories. everything was same old, same old, except me. the rusty blue van, gardenia bread and chocolates, his big belly and droopy eyes. i remember anxiously waiting to hear his horn blast rhythmically, grabbing my little purse and dashing towards the sound of his horn. i'd buy whatever my leftover pocket money allowed me - i liked super rings and rollercoaster the best. as the years went by, the sound of his horn gradually faded as i grew up and was no longer excited by simple things like that.

i smiled today because i was glad an old tradition was still intact, that his business was doing well enough to subsist him for so long, that i hadn't forgotten.

a wrinkle in time

its the end of the second week and im starting to feel a little jaded.

i think i should just sit in a corner.

recuperation

i think work takes so much out of me that im basically have no energy left to do anything during the weekend.

hung out with the mts after work on friday since we need our ever-so-frequent dose of each other. i imagined ourselves ten years down the road, or maybe twenty, in our power suits sitting around the same table at cedele, sharing a couple of sandwiches, maybe with a couple more wrinkles, but still being as silly as ever. it was a nice thought. not the wrinkles part though.

i was hardworking on saturday. went for a swim and did my targeted 25 laps. its an odd number cos i always lose count so i do something between 24 and 26. was rather annoyed cos i like to take the time to just zone out, feel weightless, clear my head. but saturday mornings are filled with kids swimming in pajamas and white bodied men looking lecherous and blocking the sides cos all they do is stand around to talk. seriously, its kinda gay (not in the sexual tendency sense but the not-very-macho-but-lame sense). if u want to swim, swim. if u want to see each other near naked and chat, go somewhere else.

anyhow, was pretty good the rest of the day too. took a nap after the swim, went for cell, then had dinner at uno beef house at toa payoh. sirloin steak for 10 bucks - it was so huge i only managed to finish 3/4 of it. medium-rare was more like, medium-well though. not top grade stuff, but for 10 bucks it was alright. came home early and cleared my work. you'd think i was some big shot high up in the food chain with all the OT and work that i was bringing home to do. but im just doing small fry shit.

i skipped salsa on sunday cos i was busy NAPPING. gee. but to make up for it, i went to phoon huat to buy some ingredients and i baked some chewy chocolate chocolate chip cookies. i miss the days where i would try a different recipe every weekend (so that somebody would have cookies to eat during the week).

brought the cookies to work!



i need to make my life more interesting. none of that boring mediocre life nonsense!

symptoms

signs you are a workaholic:

it's the first week of work, and you have stayed in the office past go home time.

it's the first week of work, and you're willing to skip lunch to do your work.

you think about the work that needs to be done even in your sleep.

you talk about the work that needs to be done while on a shopping trip.

you don't feel hungry or tired while working. but you feel like you could eat a horse or fall asleep immediately the moment you reach home.

you get up before the alarm rings.

it's the first week of work, and you've brought home work to do over the weekend.

it's a friday night, and you plan to do the work you brought home.

it's the first week of work, and you're thinking about sacrificing social and family life for the rest of your life. but thank goodness it's just a thought.

the word work appears 12 times in a blog post of 172 words.

the second first

i've offically joined the ranks of the corporate rats. although, im not sure if i can call me 'corporate' since im in the public sector. but i guess btmice is as "private sector" as it gets around here.

the first day of work saw me getting up earlier than before. the morning routine was pretty much the same, save for the fact that i had to remind myself that i was going to an office. no more uniforms. somehow i still ended up in a dress that some felt was too short, although no doubt they all agreed that it was longer than the one i wore on the first day. oh what a reputation i established for myself!

got to work on the dot and was ushered to my new office. i was feeling rather jittery, especially after having heard things. i didnt have a space to sit cos meiyan snatched the table that my boss had specially cleared for me on saturday (tsk!), so i put up at another colleague's desk since she was on leave. was introduced to everyone in the department and then my AD briefed me about what the btmice group does. information overload.

i met with the boss after lunch and she asked me what i wanted to do. and i somehow cleverly landed myself with a bid report to do up for a conference that was due in 2 weeks. i suspect my buddy wasn't too happy with me cuz cluster development (the department we are in under btmice) doesn't do bids. so this was additional, out-of-scope work for him. but oh well, im excited cuz the results will be out while im still around and i can see the fruits (or lack of) my labour real soon!

the orchard mts met up for dinner after work (we cant go a day without seeing each other!) and we exchanged details about our new postings. everyone seems to be doing pretty cool stuff. yay!

my real initiation is tomorrow when i receive my laptop. then work officially begins. wish me luck!